"I wanna set the world on fire,
and see it burning bright for You.."
~ Britt Nicole, "Set the World on Fire"
If you know me, you know that I am a girl of many dreams.
My biggest, most-consuming one has been to be a mom. (Can I say that without sounding desperate or cliche? What if our truths are sometimes cliche?)
... Followed by being a teacher. (Which I love most of the time, but the increasing pressures being put on this profession by the state make me think that this may not be a forever thing if I value my sanity-- story for another day!)
I have been passionate about finding love, mostly because I am head-over-heels for my family, friends, and people in general, and I always thought finding a partner would just fit so darn perfectly. :)
After a few years of not finding that, I began to embrace a different dream of moving to Latin America to teach there for a while.
When I take a deep breath and ask myself what I want, sometimes I become so overwhelmed I'm almost dizzy.
I want to live in Latin America.
I want to get married and have a family here.
I want to have 6-8 babies.
I want to be a stay-at-home mom.
I want to have enough money to give my kids experiences.
I want to adopt at least one child.
I want to carry my own children.
I want to never go back to teaching after having kids.
I want to get my ESL/ Bilingual certs and continue my educational career. Maybe even go back for guidance counselor...
...Um.
I am starting to realize that even though we may have tons of dreams, it is impossible for us to have them all at once.
I can move to Nicaragua or I can live in the U.S. and continue to build relationships with the people and school I am learning to call home. (Choosing the latter, by the way.)
I can have tons of kids or I can perhaps have less and be able to stay at home and/or give them nice things.
It's about quality over quantity. I'm thinking it's okay if we don't get all our dreams at once, because it gives us a chance to pay attention to the direction that God is pointing us in. (He has done an incredible job so far, so I am not giving up now!)
Here's to zeroing in on lives of quality. I'm not going to stop dreaming, though. Somebody came up with the expression "A girl can dream" for a reason! ;)
